The guys and me and the guys and me...

...and the never ending story...

well, I did not realize that my passion for the definitely wrong men started in my teenager time...
but I have to admit that I have choosen always the men which were not good for me. So, I said it! Yeah, yeah I know, you should look for someone who respects you and has the same interests and is a nice guy. I did it wrong. I looked for the bad guys and I found them. I met my ex - husband as I was 17 and I was fallen in love with him the moment I had seen him. No, he was not smart, he was not handsome and he was not good for me, but I loved him. The time with him was like a drive in a rollercoaster, an up and down all the time. He did not think about the things he was doing, e.g. he went with his family shopping and because he needed a cutter knife he stole it !!! And this was one of the really not so bad parts of that time...
We married one year after we met and I had not the wedding I dreamed of and not the wedding gown I wanted because we had no money and so on. It was not a good start for a marriage but we were young (I was 18 and he was 19) and we thought that we were knowing everything better than our families.
After one year of wonderfull marriage (ha ha) I got pregnant. I was happy and scared and happy and confused and happy and ... lonely. My husband raped a woman two days after he was informed by me that we will have a baby. One week after his assault, the police caught him and he was from then on in jail.