...it can.
I was a long time a lone parent after these incidents. Too scared to be self-confident, I met another man. Or you can even say, he was a monster, or how would you describe a person who is treating you like you were the most useless, most incompetent and altogether like dirt.
If you have been told everyday, that you are not a good mother, not a good housewife, not a good cook, not a good woman...you are believing this sh... one day. I could even not eat my dinner without being agonised, like: "How can you eat this? Are you not fat enough?" Such comments were the most unoffending ones.
As he tried to force me to abort my baby, I stood up and started to resist and it was the end of this unbelieveable relationship. He tried even after the split to control me and to force me to do what he wanted me to do, but I was free...
Freitag, 15. Mai 2009
Dienstag, 12. Mai 2009
The guys and me and the guys and me...
...and the never ending story...
well, I did not realize that my passion for the definitely wrong men started in my teenager time...
but I have to admit that I have choosen always the men which were not good for me. So, I said it! Yeah, yeah I know, you should look for someone who respects you and has the same interests and is a nice guy. I did it wrong. I looked for the bad guys and I found them. I met my ex - husband as I was 17 and I was fallen in love with him the moment I had seen him. No, he was not smart, he was not handsome and he was not good for me, but I loved him. The time with him was like a drive in a rollercoaster, an up and down all the time. He did not think about the things he was doing, e.g. he went with his family shopping and because he needed a cutter knife he stole it !!! And this was one of the really not so bad parts of that time...
We married one year after we met and I had not the wedding I dreamed of and not the wedding gown I wanted because we had no money and so on. It was not a good start for a marriage but we were young (I was 18 and he was 19) and we thought that we were knowing everything better than our families.
After one year of wonderfull marriage (ha ha) I got pregnant. I was happy and scared and happy and confused and happy and ... lonely. My husband raped a woman two days after he was informed by me that we will have a baby. One week after his assault, the police caught him and he was from then on in jail.
well, I did not realize that my passion for the definitely wrong men started in my teenager time...
but I have to admit that I have choosen always the men which were not good for me. So, I said it! Yeah, yeah I know, you should look for someone who respects you and has the same interests and is a nice guy. I did it wrong. I looked for the bad guys and I found them. I met my ex - husband as I was 17 and I was fallen in love with him the moment I had seen him. No, he was not smart, he was not handsome and he was not good for me, but I loved him. The time with him was like a drive in a rollercoaster, an up and down all the time. He did not think about the things he was doing, e.g. he went with his family shopping and because he needed a cutter knife he stole it !!! And this was one of the really not so bad parts of that time...
We married one year after we met and I had not the wedding I dreamed of and not the wedding gown I wanted because we had no money and so on. It was not a good start for a marriage but we were young (I was 18 and he was 19) and we thought that we were knowing everything better than our families.
After one year of wonderfull marriage (ha ha) I got pregnant. I was happy and scared and happy and confused and happy and ... lonely. My husband raped a woman two days after he was informed by me that we will have a baby. One week after his assault, the police caught him and he was from then on in jail.
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